


Deserved: Retribution

by Luxwinggo



Series: Deserved [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Graphic Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character Death(s), this was emotionally exhausting to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-21 19:13:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14291556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luxwinggo/pseuds/Luxwinggo
Summary: Angus didn't even scream. Magnus did. He didn't stop as he tore into everything in front of him. He was useless. He couldn't protect Julia. He couldn't protect his home. He couldn't even protect one child. Useless. He deserved to die.He deserved to die.Set after the events ofDeserved. Magnus gets his revenge and deals with the emotional consequences. Lucretia tries her best.





	Deserved: Retribution

**Author's Note:**

> This one goes out to [Maemi2295](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maemi2295/pseuds/Maemi2295) for giving me the idea to continue. Please forgive any mistakes as I don't really have a set person to beta my fics and I wanted to hurry up and finish this work. I'm not 100% happy with it but I've lost enough sleep fretting over it.  
> More notes at the end. Sorry if this is hard to read.

 

 

Magnus was lost in thought. He sat in the dark infirmary, leaning forward and bouncing one knee quietly as he tried to collect himself. This is where he had stayed the entire day, near the bedside of Angus as he rolled through his thoughts internally, watching the young detective rest after their run in with the warlock the previous day. The whole party came out of the fight worse for wear, but Angus...

They almost lost the kid and there wasn't anything Magnus did to prevent it. He should have known the informant was lying, was leading them into a trap. He sat back against the chair and ran a hand over his grizzled face. Magnus's tired eyes wandered over to the child in the bed in front of him, watching his small body rise and fall with each breath as he slept. Even though they all knew Angus was out of any danger, Magnus still insisted that he stay nearby until the kid was released. He felt responsible, somehow. He was the one who was supposed to take the hits, to be the meat shield running out into the fires and taking out the serious threats.

The warlock was dead, but Magnus still felt like he needed something. Some kind of retribution. Justice. His knuckles went white as he held his fists clenched tightly.

He jumped at the sound of the infirmary doors opening quietly. He sighed as Taako slid into the room, making as little sound as possible as he stepped over to Magnus's side. The elf sighed as he looked down at the bed and put a hand on the fighter's shoulder.

“Any changes, Mango?”

Magnus shook his head slowly. “Been sleepin' the whole time.”

Taako placed a hand on his hip and yawned. “I always did tell the little asshole he didn't sleep enough.” He looked down at Magnus and gave his shoulder a shake. “I'll take the next shift then, big guy. Angnes isn't the only one who needs to catch some good z's, I'm sure.”

Magnus didn't move, his expression cold. “Have they gotten anything out of him yet?”

Taako paused a moment and studied the face of his friend. It was a rare sight to see him this serious about anything. It was almost a little intimidating. “Well, uh, Carey said Killian got the locale of their hideout and some other shit no one cares about. These cats were working off on their own, sounded like. Just wanted to make some quick money sellin' fake info and lootin' us after.” He blew a raspberry. “Fuckin' pathetic.”

“So, they're done with him.”

Magnus slowly rose from the chair and looked down at the bed again before looking at Taako. “Thanks, Taako. I appreciate you staying with him.”

“Yeah sure no worries. Taako's good over here, my dude.” He plopped himself into the chair, mumbling about how uncomfortable it was. He looked back to Magnus. “When ya get back to the dorm, kick Merle for me. Fuckin' snoring's what woke me up in the first place.”

Magnus forced a laugh as he walked to the door. “Yeah man, sure thing. I just, uh...” He pushed the door open and paused a moment. “...just gotta check on something first. See you in the morning.”

“Hey, Mags?”

He turned to look at Taako.

“Fuck that guy up, okay?”

Magnus smiled and left the room. Taako folded his arms and rolled his head back. That definitely wasn't the kind of smile he ever wanted to see from the big guy again. There was certainly going to be a mess for someone to clean up soon.

\-----

During the elevator ride down to the lower levels, Magnus tried to keep calm. He knew what he was about to do and understood the problems that could arise from his actions, but he never faultered. That was just how he functioned: keep going forward and do what he believes is right. What he believes is justice.

The doors opened with a dull note and he stepped out into the long hallway that led to the interrogation rooms. This was the first time he had been on this floor, although he had heard these rooms were usually used for storage or to sweat out whoever the regulators dragged in. Magnus hadn't heard of anyone actually being  _interrogated_  in them until now. Although,  _tortured_ might have been a better term, in this case. Especially if Killian was the one on the job. He came to the last door – the only one with guards standing near it, and waited for them to flash their bracers and open it for him.

One of the guards gave him a grim look, then backed away.

Inside the room, Magnus saw Killian standing near a table and wiping her hands with a splattered rag. She turned and smiled at him, sporting dark blotches all over her clothing. The lighting was poor inside, the only source of which was a single lamp swaying sadly. He could just barely make out the deep reds of the blotch marks Killian sported with pride.

“Hey there, tiny. Just finishing up here. Think we got all that's worth a shit outta this poor bastard.” She chucked the rag onto the floor and stepped towards him. Magnus could see that across the table was strewn several sharp instruments, but quickly looked away. His eyes narrowed on the individual sitting in the middle of the room instead.

He looked like someone had pulled him from the mouth of a purple worm. His hair matted down with dried blood plastered against his face hid most of his features, if he had any left. He was slumped over, tied down to a metal chair with bloodstained roped. A half elf from the looks of it, average build, bald. The same man who had spoken to the group just the day before. Magnus remembered his warm smile and his fondness for formalities. The way he complimented Angus's manners.

His fists clenched.

The smile fell from Killian's face as she stared at her friend. “Hey, Mags? You, uh...what you come down here for anyway?”

Magnus didn't look at her as he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “Give me a minute with this guy, would ya?”

She didn't move. Magnus turned and looked at her, his eyes dark and grave. Killian's brow furrowed as she slowly moved next to him. “I mean, whatever you want, big guy. But uh...what ya...whatcha planin'?”

He looked back at the half elf. “Just need to talk to him.”

Killian hesitated, but eventually shrugged and made for the door. “Aight. I'll wait out here for ya, okay? Director still needs to finish the report on this guy, so we can both head there after. She's probably still awake anyway.”

The closed behind Magnus and the room fell silent, save for the heavy breathing from the man tied to the chair. He almost admired the job Killian had done on him – this guy was definitely beat to shit and back. For most people, that probably would have been enough.

Magnus grabbed the extra chair settled near the table and moved it just in front of the seated man and lowered himself into it. He leaned against the chairback and stared at the sad thing before him now. He wanted to reach out and grab his head and smash it into the ground. He wanted to smash his chair against him. He wanted to slam this piece of garbage's face into the wall over and over again. But, Magnus held himself back. He wasn't sure why he wanted to talk to this filth first. It could have been part of his rustic hospitality, giving someone a chance to speak before acting. Part of his nature.

Either way, he took a deep breath and let it leave him slowly to calm his thundering heartbeat. Magnus watched the air push at a few strands of the half elf's hair, causing him to stir. The man slowly raised a battered face to the warrior and shot him a bloodshot eye. He spat blood onto the floor, then laughed hoarsly. He grinned, his mouth full of bloodied teeth. Magnus's eyes narrowed, but he didn't move.

“I know what...you think ya come in'ere to do.” The man let out a ragged breath. “Like I fuckin' care. I been killin'...people for money 'fore you were shittin' upright. Like there...ain't fuck all you 'ndo I ain't done...to someone better.” He laughed again, spraying blood droplets onto the ground.

Again, Magnus did everything he could not to react. He kept his breathing steady, blinkly slowly as he listened.

When he obtained no response, the half elf frowned. “I know about you. About...people like you. Fuckin' daisies like you fall faster 'n they can make 'em. Jumpin' in front of swords and spells...like you fuckin'...think it makes you somethin' to help people.”

Magnus felt his brow twitch. The small reaction elicited another grin from the man as he held his head up higher. “Whatcha done to make you wanna...die for anyone ey, daisy? What kinda shit make somethin' like you...wanna die so goddamn bad?” He tilted his head. “Maybe someone...ended up dead 'cause of ya? One blade ya couldn't take for 'em?”

“Trash like you don't know a damn thing about anyone like me.” Magnus leaned forward. “That would require you to know what the fuck humanity is.”

The half elf threw his head back and laughed. Magnus felt his shoulders tense. “Aye, that's it then, innit?” The man leaned back with a wry grin. “Someone got dead 'cause of ya and takin' hits is gonna redeem ya, eh daisy? Think the only way ya keep livin' is by...actin' like you're makin' up for 'em?” Slowly, he leaned towards Magnus, lowering his voice to a low whisper. “Wassit, then? Maybe...some girly of ya's? Got 'erself killed when it shoulda be-”

The next thing Magnus saw was that he was standing, a fist raised and smeared with blood. The half elf was lying on the floor now, still tied to the chair. The man was coughing and spitting blood, maybe a tooth or two as he tried to let out a weak laugh.

“R-real...real big man, daisy.” A wet cough and the man looked up at Magnus. “That it, then? Heart o' yours ain't...good for nothin' but gettin' you pissed?” He spat onto Magnus's boots and smiled. “Useless. Issat why you wanna die so bad, daisy?”

He couldn't stand this anymore. Magnus didn't want to breathe the same air as this guy. He turned and walked toward the door, trying to steady the shaking he felt ripple through him like a cold spell. He could barely grasp the door handle as the blood and shaking made his grip unsteady.

He stopped dead when the man spoke again behind him.

“So...heard the runt...got the fuckin shit handed to 'im...”

Slowly, Magnus turned and made eye contact. The man was smiling at him still, his eyes glinting. Magnus felt an icy cold weight sink into his stomach as the half elf's words echoed.

“Figures Pierce would take him out first...heh...guy always had a...soft spot for them kiddies...probably looked forward to his screams, yeah? Tell me daisy...did he scream?” He winked. “Did he scream...for help? From you?”

Blood was boiling inside him. In his mind all he could see was Angus being flung back and laying still. It replayed over and over in his mind. It felt like he was on fire.

He was done thinking about this. Magnus rushed in.

He grabbed the table, throwing everything on it to the floor and propping it under the door handle, barring anyone from opening it. He turned and in two strides he was above the man, staring down at the pathetic mess before him.

The bastard was laughing. He was fucking laughing.

Angus was lying on the ground. He didn't move. There was so much blood for such a small body. Why couldn't it have been Magnus? Why couldn't he be there instead? Why couldn't he have been there for her? Why couldn't he have died instead? There was so much blood. Who's blood was that? Where was everyone? Smoke. Blood. Dead. Abandoned. Useless. It should have been him.

Magnus didn't know when he started punching him. He almost couldn't feel his fists meet with resistance. It was like his body was growing numb. All he could see was Angus. Lying on the ground in his own blood. Laying in his arms and barely breathing. He was punching the man on the floor now. He was screaming. The louder he yelled, the more Magnus hit him. He lifted the chair back up from the ground and kicked the man in the chest twice. A loud crack rattled in the room.

He couldn't tell if his heart was pounding in his head or if someone was banging on the door. He ripped the ropes off the man and tore him away from the chair, lifting his feet off the ground and throwing him against the wall. Magnus picked him up and threw him again. And again. And again. The man was still screaming. All Magnus could hear was him laughing at him.

Angus didn't even scream. Magnus did. He didn't stop as he tore into everything in front of him. He was useless. He couldn't protect Julia. He couldn't protect his home. He couldn't even protect one child. Useless. He deserved to die.

He deserved to die.

 _He deserved to Die_.

Magnus realized he was being pulled back. Strong arms were tearing him away from the half elf and he released his grip on the limp body. He watched as the thing slumped to the ground, a wet mass that didn't move or make a sound. He was panting, eyes wide, his breathing loud and wild. Magnus found himself trying to jump forward again, his hands flailing and reaching for the still mass below him. Someone was yelling his name and trying to restrain him but all he wanted was to get to him.

“I HAVE TO KILL HIM! HE DESERVES TO DIE! LET ME FUCKING KILL HIM! I'LL FUCKING-”

“MAGNUS!”

“-I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU KILLED HER! SHE'S FUCKING DEAD! I'LL FUCKING K-”

“MAGNUS HE'S ALREADY DEAD! HE'S GONE!”

“JUST FUCKING STOP IT MAGS!”

Magnus whipped his head around wildly and stared at Killian, who held him back as best she could, and Taako, who stood in the ruined doorway to the cell. Behind him were several people, but Magnus was completely focused on the elf. He felt himself shaking.

“Call Kravitz, Taako.”

The elf made a face at him and his ears fell back. “What the fuck, dude?”

Magnus pulled himself from Killian's grip and rushed him, grabbing Taako's shoulders and shaking him with panic. “Tell Kravitz to bring him back! Bring him back! I'm not fucking done with him!”

“Mags, fucking stop it!”

“TELL HIM TO BRING HIM BACK! HE DESERVES THIS! HE DOESN'T GET TO DIE UNTIL I'M FUCKING READY FOR HIM TO! HE CAN'T FUCKING DIE WHILE I'M STILL ALIVE, TAAKO! MAKE KRAVITZ BRING HIM BACK!”

Taako's eyes were wide and horrified. He just stared at his friend, unable to speak or react. Magnus tightened his grip on him. He knew his fingers would leave bruises. He knew everyone was staring at him and likely terrified. He didn't care. He wanted to kill him. He wanted to hurt him. He wanted to make everyone pay for what happened. For everything. He wanted to die.

Something cold struck him from behind. The tension that held his body rigid suddenly released his grip on him as Magnus felt himself falling. He was unconscious before he even hit the ground.

\-----

The events that occurred in the cells that night were to remain strictly confidential. So, of course, everyone in the bureau knew about them by noon the day after. For what it was worth, Lucretia had done everything she could to prevent most of the details from reaching the majority. And everyone who had witnessed them had, thankfully, spared everyone details. From what she had heard people say, everyone was on Magnus's side of things. “Good Riddance!” “Wish I had done it myself!” “Bastard deserved worse!”

All they knew was that Magnus had killed him. That's all they needed to know.

Lucretia had arrived at the cell to find Killian standing over Magnus, unconscious and covered in blood. Then she spotted the remains of the half elf. Taako was stuttering, trying to explain and excuse what his friend had done, and people were shouting angrily and panicked. With one look, they all silenced. Quickly she began giving orders for everyone, telling Killian to take Magnus to his dorm, dispersing everyone from the room not involved, and calling for Noelle and Carey to help with cleanup. Part of her position meant taking charge, even when things were unpleasant.

And this was all  _highly_  unpleasant. Both for her and for her friend.

Now she was making her way from her office down to the Reclaimer's dorm. She yawned into her hand with as much dignity as she could muster while running on two hours of sleep. Davenport followed closely behind her, looking nervous and slightly agitated. Bless him, he had slept even less than she did, no doubt worrying about the morale of their most important employees. Lucretia remembered the look in Taako's eyes when she had arrived the night before. Morale might have been the least of their issues right now, she thought to herself.

They arrived at a metal door near the end of the hallway and Lucretia knocked on it gently. It slowly opened, revealing a rather weary looking Merle who looked up at the Director with bleary eyes. He sighed and moved to the side, allowing her and Davenport to enter the room.

“Ey, Taako – she's here.”

\-----

Magnus wanted to die.

He remembered everything he did.

He could still feel that man's blood covering him. His bones breaking under his fists. His screams and eventual silence. God, he remembered looking into his eyes every time he slammed his head against the walls.

Magnus had awoken in his room and stared at his fists. Bruises lingered over his knuckles and he knew what he had done. A moment later he was bent over a wastebasket emptying whatever was in his stomach. He hated himself. He hated what he was. He had killed before, of course, but never like that. Never like  _that_. He had lost control of himself and everything he believed in. He deserved to be put down for it.

He felt hollow now. Lying in his bed and still staring at his hands. He could hear people outside his door, even standing behind him, but he just couldn't bring himself to move. He knew he should have. He knew he was supposed to talk to someone-anyone. He just couldn't. He just wanted to wait there and waste away, wait for someone to kill him too.

This was not an unfamiliar feeling for Magnus. There were days where all he wanted to do were sleep until he died. There were days where he couldn't even bring himself to eat without someone forcing him to. But now, as he laid there and stared at the dried blood under his fingernails, he honestly contemplated taking care of everything himself again. After what he had done, he figured it might have been worth another shot.

A light knock on his door. Magnus didn't move, pretending not to hear it. He could hear Taako's voice down the hallway. Another knock.

“Magnus? I'm coming in.”

Fuck. The Director.

He felt himself flinch as the door creaked open. Magnus was turned facing the wall and he was glad for that. He couldn't stand to see the disappointment on her face that he assumed was there. That he knew was there.

“Magnus.”

He grunted quietly. It was the only response he could muster. He didn't look away from his hands.

The room was silent for a moment, then Lucretia spoke again. “Davenport? Would you be a dear and give us the room for a moment?”

A surprised gasp. “D-D...Davenport?”

“It will only be for a moment. I think this will be easier if it is just me.”

An uneasy pause. “ _Dav_...enport...Davenport.”

“I do appreciate it.”

Light footsteps left the room and the door closed. The room was silent again. It was just Magnus and his boss. God, the tension made him hold his breath. What is she going to do to me? What is she going to do to me?

“Well, Magnus. Seems that things...might have gotten just a little bit heated last night.”

Silence.

A sigh. “I will be honest, I'm not...the best at comforting people, but I am willing to talk if...if that helps things any.”

Magnus forced himself to roll over and stare her down. “ _Comfort_?”

Lucretia looked surprised when he spoke to her. “Maybe that's not the correct word. You see, I am absolutely terrible at this, but Merle and Taako asked me to try since you wouldn't respond to them.”

Magnus was sitting up now, staring at her furiously. “What the fuck are you trying to say?”

The Director took a deep breath and released it slowly, looking upwards. “I know...I know that...dear, please forgive me, Magnus. I know that last night...effected you. And I want you...to know that no one...blames you.” She paused. “No one blames you for what you did, Magnus.”

He leaped up from the bed and was in front of her suddenly, causing Lucretia to step back. He threw his hands up in front of her. “No one BLAMES me?? I fucking PUNCHED someone TO DEATH! I fucking BEGGED to have him brought back to life so I could keep fucking KILLING HIM!” Magnus threw his arms down, tears beginning to fall down his face. “I'm a fucking MONSTER and no one BLAMES ME? Did you see what I did?”

“Yes, I did, Magnus.” Lucretia spoke calmly, never losing an ounce of gravitas. Slowly, she placed a hand on Magnus's arm and looked him in the eyes. “Of course, everyone has been spared the details of what happened, but even still...” she gave his arm a light squeeze. “...I don't think anyone could hate you for how you acted. If anything, we all...” She looked away for a moment, then back to him. “...if anything,  _I_ wish I had been the one to do it instead of you.”

Magnus scoffed and sat back on his bed. He wouldn't look at her. “No one should do what I did. No one deserved that.”

Lucretia didn't respond for a moment. Then, Magnus felt a weight on the mattress beside him. He turned and saw she had sat beside him. She had a pained look in her eyes as she gave him a kind smile and he hated himself. He didn't earn her pity. He didn't earn her sympathy. He looked back down and held his head in his hands. His eyes felt hot and wet and he couldn't stand to look at her.

A gentle touch brushed his shoulders and he shuddered. “Magnus...I know this pain that you're feeling.” She paused for a moment. “Sometimes...things are extremely difficult for some people more than others. You feel things so strongly that you are unable to contain them and that is a frightening experience.”

“That doesn't excuse what I did.”

Lucretia patted him slowly, trying to still the shakes that were running through him. “Well...I think that...considering what he was guilty of and who he had hurt...”

Magnus jerked up and stared at her with bleary eyes. “That shouldn't matter! No matter what anyone has done, that doesn't excuse what I fucking-”

“Magnus.”

The power in her voice made him stop immediately. She looked at the floor for a moment, gathering her thoughts before speaking again.

“Magnus that man was dead long before you even met him. People like that do not deserve your regret. People who thrive on hurting others, who act without remorse or empathy towards anyone or anything they do...they do not deserve you hurting yourself over them.” She looked back at him. “They do not deserve to make you feel like this even after they're gone. And you, Magnus...” Lucretia produced a silk cloth from her robe and reached out a hand to Magnus. “...you do not deserve to hurt like this.”

He stared at her in silence. Magnus felt his breath caught in his throat like a led weight. He didn't know how to react.

Lucretia sighed and held one of the fighter's hands, starting to wipe dried blood from it with the cloth. “We all waste so much time mourning people who don't deserve it. We feel as though it's an obligation of ours, that everyone deserves the same humane treatments and chances. But, Magnus, some people prove themselves to be just...just bad people. Bad people who will never change, who will never learn, who will never become better no matter how many chances they are given. People just like that man who tried to get you and your friends killed. He wanted you all dead and he felt no pain for it.” She looked at him with a kind smiled. “Magnus, I am not telling you that what you did was the right thing to do. But, what I am saying is that no one here wants you to feel pain because of it. If we need to, we will all do whatever it is we can to help.” She paused. “I'll do whatever I can as well.”

Magnus looked into her face. Lucretia was a person of dignity and intelligence, a woman of purpose and diligence. And now, she looked at him as though she were an old friend. She didn't see him as some monster, or a brute lesser than her. She saw him as an equal. In a moment of terrible intimacy, she showed him a face Magnus had never seen before (or had ever remembered seeing). There was a level of humanity and caring behind her eyes that made his heart swell. He had seen that same look in someone elses eyes a long time ago. A deep ache carved its way into his stomach and he felt his eyes start to water.

Lucretia sighed and pulled him into a loose embrace. “Magnus, you're a big person with bigger emotions. You feel not just for yourself, but for so many people. That's what makes you who you are. But please, don't ever feel like you have to feel all these things alone. You have friends all around you and we would never see you as anything less than brave, powerful force of good that you are.” She pushed him back slightly. “Besides, you took care of what the hell I was going to do with that garbage. I honestly had no idea how we were going to take care of him! I was considering throwing him off the damn moon!”

A laugh was forced out of Magnus before he could contain it. Then he felt a sob rip through him. He hated that it was so easy for him to cry all the time. It always had been. But Lucretia just pulled him back into another embrace and just held him there. Magnus raised his arms slowly and tentatively placed his hands on the woman's back. He was amazed – sitting there with Lucretia, letting himself cry into her shoulder, almost felt familiar. It didn't feel any different than the times he had cried with Taako or Merle. It was almost...it was like they had known each other for years. It was a level of comfort that came from lifelong friendships.

He let himself cry.

**Author's Note:**

> This was really personal for me. I relate to Magnus in a lot of ways, and this was definitely something I wrote from a place of great personal experience. And the things that Lucretia told him are things I wish someone had told me a long time ago. Sometimes, there are people who will only go out into the world to hurt others. That's all they care about and that's all they want. When we are victims of such people, we tend to lose ourselves feeling guilty for wanting revenge or for cutting them out of our lives. They don't deserve to have us feel grief for them. They don't deserve our pain. They don't deserve anything from us ever again.


End file.
